this is halloween
by queendementor
Summary: they never agreed to take eleven children trick-or-treating.


**this is halloween**

The only children that Les and Barty had ever agreed to take trick-or-treating were Sev, Gel, and Modesty.

But then Sev asked if Draco could come, and then one day at daycare the boys also invited Harry, Newt, and Albie, all of whom said yes, and then promptly told their parents, which made Cam and Tassie think this was already cleared with Les.

Then Modesty asked if her brother could come, and somehow someone invited Nagini and Chastity. And Barty made the mistake of mentioning the outing during a Death Eater meeting, so Amycus decided his sister was also invited.

Now there were eleven children scattered around the living room, their costumes half-on as Les tried to dress them. Severus had decided to be a ghost, but didn't know what color he wanted to be and kept making Barty charm his sheet different colors. (Yes, he was a Muggle sheet ghost. Les had vetoed the idea of dressing her son up as Nearly Headless Nick.)

After several weeks of deliberation, Modesty had decided to be a witch, with Gellert as her black cat that tried furiously to take off his pants and was running around scraping them across the furniture in an attempt to get them to go away. Harry was dressed as a professional Quidditch player and was poking Chastity with his broom. Credence initially tried to avoid participating, but finally gave in at Nagini's insistence and decided to coordinate his costume with her own. Alecto had decided to be a vampire and had taken to biting everyone she could get her hands on, which Maisie and Amycus had thought was adorable.

(It was very painful.)

Les was very glad that she had asked all the parents to drop off the children two hours in advance, because she needed the extra time. Modesty and Chastity were managing to keep Gellert clothed for now, but they couldn't hold out forever. Alecto decided to use Barty's fingers as her chew toy, which made it very difficult to dress Albie. Nagini kept eating things she found under the couch, including the television remote. And someone had to explain to the Barebones that no one was going to give them peas or religious literature.

By the time everything was in place, they were left with seven minutes before trick-or-treating began. Most of that time was spent pushing bags for candy collection into the children's hands, putting on shoes and casting warming charms so the children wouldn't need coats, and warning them that any funny business would lead to them turning around and going back home.

That task took seven minutes exactly. Les led the children out of the house and down onto the sidewalk.

It was only two hours. What could go wrong?

-x-

The first house stop actually went well. "Trick or treat!" the children cried, thrusting their bags at the lady sitting on the porch.

She dropped candy into their waiting bags. As they left, Les noticed that all pants remained on, and Alecto wasn't biting anything that did not belong in her mouth.

The second house stop wasn't bad either. Neither was the third, or the fourth, or even the fifth.

Just after the seventh or eighth house, Sev decided his legs were exhausted and wanted to be carried, so Les picked him up for a few moments. Draco, who always had to do whatever Sev did (or vice versa), ended up in Barty's arms.

Things grew a little more complicated when Alecto noticed what was going on and decided she wanted someone to carry her too.

By the time they got to the next house, Barty had relented and agreed to carry Alecto for a short while. Les had Sev and Draco uncomfortably pressed against one another, while Newt trailed behind her with part of her festive Halloween cloak in his mouth.

That was the only hiccup on their block. Albie made a face when an old lady tried to put a bag of pretzels in his bag, but Chastity reminded him that that was not polite. The little phoenix even turned around to say he was sorry, so Les decided that didn't qualify as an incident.

There was a rule that all toddlers had to hold hands with a grown-up or one of the older children. But it seemed Modesty didn't have a tight enough grip on her little brother's hand, allowing Gellert to slip free.

At the next house, most of the children said, "Trick or treat!" Gellert threw his cat costume at the man who answered the door.

Les dragged him off to the side to redress him and tell him that if he did it again, she would take him back home and that would be the end of his trick-or-treating experience for the year. "I am so sorry," she told the poor man as the group left.

The rest of the group had already turned the corner by the time she managed to get Gel's costume on and keep it there. Les suddenly found herself grateful for that fact when a leaf hit her in the face.

Little Mary Lou, her candy bag filled with leaves, made sure to hit both Les and her son with it as she ran past them at top speed. A moment or two later, an exasperated and slightly sweaty Jeanne passed them, shouting, "Mary Lou, get back here!"

If you asked, Les would have said she was trying to catch up with the group, not running from a three-year-old.

-x-

The grown-ups lost count of how many houses they had gone to. Les managed to catch up with Barty (though only after she took Gel to every single last house separating the couple) and resume trick-or-treating, but soon enough they all just blended together.

At one point, when they hit a block where almost all the houses on one side were handing out candy, Les just told the older children, "Look after the little ones and meet me and Barty on the corner."

The wait was largely uneventful, except for perhaps the part where a man grew tired of handing out candy and gave the rest of it to the couple. Les and Barty took full advantage of this, because they liked free candy and might have gone out for their own if not for the eleven children they were responsible for.

Les had half a chocolate bar in her dementor mouth when the children reached her. Well, most of the children anyway. They only counted ten.

Barty looked at the house on the corner. Alecto was standing on the porch repeatedly ringing the doorbell. "Trick or treat!" she shouted at the man who answered.

He tried to say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, I wasn't planning on handing out candy this year," but Alecto wasn't having it. "_Trick or treat!" _she howled, hitting the man with her candy bag.

Les suctioned her off the porch and stuffed some candy in her hand before things escalated. Then she made a new rule that someone also had to hold Alecto's hand.

-x-

At the next house stop, Les checked the time. 7:02 p.m. How had they only been out for an hour?

At least the children were enjoying themselves. Newt and Albie, dressed respectively as an erumpent and a phoenix, were explaining to Newt's plush niffler how much fun trick-or-treating was. Les had worried Severus would trip over his costume, but he ran ahead of everyone - well, as much as Nagini would let him. Harry's broomstick was not a real one and couldn't actually carry him around, but he shoved it between his little legs and pretended it could anyway.

The next house happened to be where Ella and Thorfinn lived, which led to little Draco hugging his father's leg. Barty managed to get the boy (and his bag, as he tried to claim it clashed with his dragon costume and someone else had to carry it) to come with him, though not before he got Thorfinn to part with a substantial percentage of candy.

"Your bag doesn't have to go with your costume, Draco," Les said, wondering why she was explaining this to a two-year-old.

Still, she ended up carrying three.

Not far from there was the home of Maisie and Amycus. Of course, given that Maisie was a Malfoy, they had to have a very large gate that only Alecto knew how to open, and then a very long walkway leading to the house.

(The walkway was a bit too long. Les, who remained at the gate, could barely see the children when they arrived. She appreciated Maisie's dedication to keeping muggles and sniffy old ladies out, but this was excessive.)

Things quieted down a bit after that. With only half an hour left, the traffic was beginning to disperse. Wading through a sea of little children was no longer required.

By the time trick-or-treating ended, the little ones were beginning to complain that their bags were too heavy and they were tired. Credence and Nagini were a bit tired of people asking why they weren't wearing costumes (they were, but no one knew how to depict "just being normal" as anything that looked like a costume to most people.) And Alecto was tired of being forbidden to bite people, and Gellert wanted to take his pants off.

Clearly, it was time to go home.

On the way back, they passed little Scabior, who was looking for fallen candy to snatch. Mary Lou was sitting on the street corner twisted up like a pretzel, and her mother was trying to unravel her so she could take her home.

"Is that...?" Chastity stopped in her tracks.

"Of course not!" Les responded, hurrying her along. "Plenty of small children like to pretzel, Chastity."

The group managed to get home without too many interruptions. But Les knew the excitement wasn't over.

-x-

The concept was simple enough. The children would take off their costumes, and then Les and Barty would give them their regular clothes to put on (or pajamas for their own children, who didn't need to wait for their parents to pick them up.) Once everyone was dressed, the grown-ups would help them sort through their candy and give away anything they didn't want to someone who did. Then, most likely, the children would insist on eating their candy, and then hopefully they would be picked up before they ran around the house on sugar highs.

That concept worked, but not for this group.

"I said put down your candy bag and take your costume off, not put your costume in your candy bag, Albie."

"You have to wear pants, Alecto. And that goes for you too, Gellert."

"Please don't eat Sev's shoes, Nagini. I can get you a shoe, but Sev might still want to wear those."

By the time they got everyone dressed, neither of them ever wanted to dress another child as long as they lived.

Next, Les and Barty handed out everyone's bags and sat them down on the floor. "If you want it, keep it," Les told the children. "If you don't, we'll find someone who does. If no one wants it, you can throw it in the dementor vacuum."

When Alecto picked up a handful of candy (which, of course, wasn't hers) and tried to shove it in the dementor vacuum, Les knew her choice of words was horrible.

"Put your unwanted candy in a pile and we'll deal with it later."

That went a little better.

The grown-ups were able to handle the matter rather well. Some things were choking hazards and were best given to older children. Les and Nagini double-checked Credence's bag, making sure to remove anything that could induce nausea (though Les had purchased some sugar-free candy and replaced the rejects with it.) And some things just tasted like feet and needed to be avoided.

(Also, someone had given Chastity bitter grass candy. Les didn't even want to know who was responsible for that.)

Soon afterward, the group heard a knock at the door. It belonged to Tassie, there for Newt and Albie. Of course, Albie picked that moment to run off, his face smeared with chocolate, and Chastity had to go get him.

Harry, chatty as always, barely let either Cam or Les get in a word. The dementor had to settle for offering hand signals while Harry chattered about candy. Her theory that sugar would make him more talkative was apparently correct.

Draco simply darted out the door and had to be retrieved by Thorfinn. Understandably, Ella only stayed long enough to thank Les for having him.

When she arrived, Dragon quizzed the dementor on everything Credence had eaten, then made sure Nagini hadn't eaten anything inedible. She seemed generally pleased with the results, as no one was beginning to nausea in the corner.

Alecto's vampiric nature persisted, even though she had taken the costume off. She had to bite Maisie and Amycus when they came to pick her up, and then she had to bite Les and Barty instead of saying goodbye like a normal person.

With the guests gone, the sounds of little feet running through the house were still audible. Then again, that was exactly what happened when you let Severus, Gellert, and Modesty eat as much candy as they wanted.

"Alessia," Barty sighed.

"Yes, dear?"

"Next year, we're only taking these three."

That had been the plan to begin with. But next year, Sev would want to go with Draco, and Modesty would invite Credence, and they'd do it all again until all three of their children were old enough to be dragged around by their own children.

_-end-_


End file.
